Settling in to a New Posting

It's the beginning of our fourth week here in Kuala Lumpur, and I am realizing a few things about the moving process.
1. I realize that it truly is difficult, because I went from having a mitful of good friends, being on the board of the women's association, planning events for it, birthday parties, and just general visiting and errands, to NOTHING.  Now we are in a serviced apartment with 3 pots to try to cook some meals and not eat out everyday, knowing no one so social life is nil, and the girls are not in a school yet so no playdates either until we meet some people.  It's not "zero to sixty in 3 seconds"... it's more like "sixty to ZERO in one plane ride"!
Now, that being said, it's actually okay... but it's an adjustment and I forgot it was coming so it's given me a few more "down days" because I am feeling lonely.  My solution: changing my mindset so I can actually embrace this down time and special days with my girls.  It won't be long until we're back into the swing of things and so busy with school and after-school activities that I'll be wishing for some down moments!!!  It's an opportunity to ease in slowly... because the cooking facilities are poor, I am not expected to cook every meal... so I need to embrace trying new restaurants while I can, and figure out where to buy groceries before I really and truly need them!  It's the lull before the storm, and I'm going to label it the "INFORMATION GATHERING" time.... I am trying to gain as much information about every mall, store, etc in the areas we are so that when I actually do NEED something, I'll have an idea on where to go to find it.  In terms of living in new cities, knowledge is indeed power, and instead of feeling so helpless and unable to find anything or accomplish anything, I am gathering as much of that information as I can now, so when I am on my own in the house, I can smoothly transition.
2. Inevitably, the most "boring" part of moving, is the busiest time for your spouse.  I have nothing to do until our shipment arrives.  Jeff, on the other hand, is trying to get up to speed with his new job, transition, adjust, and get into the flow of things.  I think he's currently averaging 14-16 hour days.  Which, again, I mentally understand, but emotionally loathe.  At the end of a long day alone with the girls, I look forward to our "husband and wife" time, not listening to him conference call between the hours of 8pm to midnight.  I know it won't always be like this; in fact, there will come a day where he's done at regular hours and I'm the one running around being too busy.  My temporary solution: I have found the closest dvd shop and stocked up on all my favorite shows to catch up on from home (just finished season 3 of The Good Wife - what a good show).  I have also stocked up on home pampering items and am spending a ridiculous amount of time lounging in the tub with bubbles and girly items... maybe I need to forgo getting "busy", because this is feeling quite lovely these days ;)
3. It's not always easy to meet people.  Especially in this booming metropolis of KL where you don't know who is a "local" expat and who is a tourist (which is significantly different to Balikpapan, where you could pretty much tell at a glance who was "local" and who wasn't - pretty much if they aren't sweating buckets and have shiny bling on from Afat's... they're local) ;)  I think it'll change once the girls get into school and some group activities, but for now, it's a quiet life.  I don't have a solution for this one yet, other than hanging out at the embassy to meet more Canadians ;)  but after the necessary trips getting new passports and other documents, I think they're as tired of seeing me as I am of them... though I will admit, I met 3 really nice ladies from New Brunswick and Montreal there.

Onwards and upwards... our shipment should arrive this week, but with holidays on Tuesday and Thursday I am not sure if it will actually be delivered this week.  Once it gets here, at least we'll have sorting, unpacking, and organizing to keep us busy!  I am also trying to make our Christmas plans, so when we get into the house I know what needs to get done and can start arranging all of that.  Last year, the girls and I had a fun Advent with something new to do every day, and I am hoping to do it again this year, but with more new and original ideas... I'll make sure to post them!  Looking forward to a good holiday season!

Changes

I recently realized my need to rediscover the alarm clock.  No longer are my children immediately coming into my room and poking me as soon as they wake up.  Now, the time is used to assert their independence - watch some extra cartoons, make their own breakfast, do some coloring...
I woke up the other morning to sounds of quiet talking, scheming, I could tell.  I came out of the bedroom, around the corner, and on the small round table in the apartment I found slices of bread, cereal in ziploc bags, the milk carton out, and a broken, runny egg sliding off the table onto the carpet.  Yes, runny egg onto the carpet.  I was tired, groggy, and all I could do was ask "and just what is going on in here?", to which Sofia replied "I'm helping Belyn get breakfast, mommy!"  Which is really darling, and sweet, and this is the behavior as parents we like to encourage... however, runny egg on the carpet is not my cup of tea first thing in the morning.  When I asked about the egg, she replied "oh, it's supposed to be hard-boiled egg but it opened like this instead".  As my grogginess was lifting, I had to hide my grin behind my hand.  She just knew the eggs in the shell at breakfast were hard, so why would these in the fridge be any different?  So.... I thanked her for her tremendous effort, explained that all of the eggs in the fridge are runny until we cook them, and we set to work cleaning up the runny egg to hopefully not have rotten egg smelling up the apartment by the end of the day, and on we went.

Really and truly, I need to start setting the alarm again!!

Reflections

It's been eighteen months and my house is in boxes again.  This Friday, we are moving from Balikpapan, Indonesia to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.  It being Thanksgiving weekend back in Canada, I thought it is a good time to reflect on our year and a half in Indonesia.

We have really enjoyed our time here.  For me, I think the thing that stands out the most in my mind is the people we have been lucky enough to meet and get to know in the past year.  I have never felt so "at home" and comfortable, with a great network of friends to call on for anything.  I think a lot of this is due to our situation - none of the women have working visas so we are all looking for things to fulfill our time and hearts while we are here.  Because we are all so far away from our "home" countries, everyone really tries to make the extra effort to create "families" here... we always have gatherings for the holidays, and celebrate birthdays together, and create as much of a support network as possible.  It makes being so far away a lot easier on us!   Being able to have help in the house, I have had the freedom and opportunity to do things I might not otherwise have been able to do in these past 18 months... I have really enjoyed spending time in the kitchen, experimenting with new recipes - for fun, not because I had to make a meal.  Entertaining people in our home is something I have really come to enjoy.  I was able to train and complete a half marathon in Singapore, and I was able to dedicate time and be on the Board for the women's association in town and help to fundraise and plan events for them.  I have made some fabulous friends that I think I will always keep in touch with, and have a network for many more family holidays around the globe :)  I have had to navigate languages, cultures, and experiences while getting to know people, and it's really changed the way I think about getting to know someone, and what I value in my friends.  Sometimes it's difficult not to have people understand me right away, sometimes it's frustrating having emotional cultures waving their arms every time they speak, and sometimes it's enlightening and heartwarming to have people spend the time to actually get to know me because it is more difficult, but then actually KNOW me, instead of only superficially.

It's funny, because now that we have completed our first expat assignment, one memory keeps coming back to me.  One of Jeff's clients in Calgary invited us over to his house for dinner one night - him and his wife are closer to our parents age than our age, and I felt a bit awkward about going.  They had been expats for many years, and had finally come back to Canada.  What could we have in common?  What are we going to talk about?  This is a client, it will probably be boring and I didn't really want to go.  Now that I have spent some time overseas, I understand.   I understand why they were so open and welcoming us into their home; I understand why they were so good at making small talk and making me feel at home, and I understand why their home-cooked Thai food was so good!!  If I had to do it all over again, I think we would have been pretty good friends with them!  It was me who didn't understand before, and who was quite centralized in my thoughts and who I associated with, and I realize that I've been missing out a bit.  It's a great feeling to have a welcoming home where I hope that everyone that steps inside leaves feeling a little bit happier, relaxed, and their bellies full :)

While there are still all of things that I complain about and get tired of here - the corruption, the lying and ripping me off, the inability to say "I don't understand, can you please explain", instead just nodding and then doing nothing, the terrible traffic... there are some gems here.
There is Yanto, who has been our driver for the past 18 months.  He has never been late, he always has a smile on his face, and he has ALWAYS been willing to help us out in any way he can.  His job is to drive us from point A to point B, and yet he will run errands, hunt for my crazy ideas (who knew you couldn't get a wooden wagon wheel in Balikpapan?), and is so caring and good with my children.  He will stay longer at my house to sit in the playhouse with them while they dress him up and feed him their fake plastic food, rather than heading home.  He is always willing to talk with me about anything, and explain things to me about the Indonesian culture and their Muslim beliefs.  I think he is a rare gem in this place, and we are so fortunate that we have had him in our lives here.  I will miss him, and wish him and his family all the best in his future.
There is also Yunni, who has been our pembantu (maid) while we have lived here.  She is more professional than a lot of people I know.  She works hard, is trustworthy, and keeps herself busy (a rarity, I think).  She is pleasant and funny, but keeps a line between her work and personal life.  I appreciate everything she does, as she has let me have the time to focus on other things here, because I know the house is taken care of.

I am thankful for this experience and the people we have met here in Balikpapan.  I am excited and a little nervous about our move to Kuala Lumpur, but after these past 18 months, know that it'll be another great opportunity for our family, and look forward to meeting more people and enjoying this life that we are able to live.  I am thankful for my family - that we stick together and are so close because we're the constants in our lives.  That we're happy and healthy and growing and learning together.  Happy Thanksgiving!!!

M-I-C...K-E-Y..... M-O-U-S-E!!!!!

Ah... the magic of Disney.  We had so much fun at Disneyland in February!!!  What a great time to take the girls... the princesses were "real", Mickey Mouse was "real", and they were over the moon to be able to meet Woody and Jessie!!!  This was, of course, after the first morning of being overwhelmed and being very unsure of these big characters!  Sofia soon warmed up and was giving hugs left, right, and centre to everyone she saw.  Belyn took a little longer to get comfortable, but Daisy did the trick - I don't know what it was about her, but Belyn just took to her and was ready to start giving hugs!

If you ask Belyn what her favourite part of Disneyland was, she'll tell you "the bad guys".  What she really means is the Buzz Lightyear ride where we got to sit in a space jet and "shoot" the bad guys!  She went on twice in a row (and would have continued to go if we had let her) and is now asking for a Buzz, Woody, and Jessie birthday party.  I better get started!

If you ask Sofia what her favourite part of Disneyland was, she'll probably tell you it was getting to dress up like a Princess.  As we watched her in her "photo shoot", I looked over at Jeff and said "you know, we probably could have had a pageant child".... she was posing, looking adorable, and it was as though with all of the lights and photographer, life was finally as it should be!  She wore her princess outfit throughout Disneyland for the day, and I think she got as much attention from tourists as the "real" Princesses did!  By the end of the day, she was tired of posing with random people and would shy away from them... I think I would too!

Hong Kong Disneyland was great for smaller kids, I think there were only 2 rides the girls were too small to go on.  It's been a long time since Jeff and I have been in the Magical Kingdom, and I think we had as much fun as the girls did!

A Little Bit of Peace...

I was really fortunate to be able to spend a couple days one-on-one with my sister-in-law, Amber, on her visit to see us in February.  We took a little hopper flight over to Yogyakarta to see some of the sights.  We rented a car and driver one morning at 3am and drove to Borobudur to see the temple at sunrise.

It was quiet, peaceful.... these moments have been rare since having children!  It was a great time to just sit, be still, and enjoy the view.  I need to find time to create little moments like this at home!  It was a refreshing couple of days, and I am so happy Amber was willing to go along with me!!!

First Week On Rotation....

The start of a 2012 new year brings some changes for our family... most noticeable being that for the next 8 months or so, Jeff is now in Jakarta two weeks out of the month, and 2 weeks here in Balikpapan.  We have never really considered "rotating" as an option for us, but we're going to try to make the best of it - the thing I keep thinking of is that it's only short-term, it's not forever.
Well, we've just finished our first week of this new set-up.  During the day is fine, because really, nothing has changed, for me it's mostly after the girls have gone to sleep and I have a long evening ahead of me in the quiet house.  I am downloading a lot of chick flicks to keep busy ;)  I mostly did some baking and reading this week, though I'm hoping to set up a corner for my scrapbooking, because I think that would be a good use of my evening time!!!!  Maybe I can get further than Sofia's first Christmas.... !
The girls didn't sleep very well all week, and then as soon as Jeff got home - boom! - sleeping 11 hours straight... so even though they asked where he was everyday, I think they didn't sleep as well knowing he wasn't here... I sure hope that changes though!  It could be long weeks for me!

New Thoughts for a New Year

I had an enlightening moment last night, given to me by my wonderful husband.  I was thinking of all of the reasons why I was NOT going to be able to join my girlfriend and run a half marathon in May.... because I get really excited with the IDEA of something, but not so good at the actual FOLLOW-THRU of that idea... because I haven't run or done anything remotely athletic for at least the past month.... because I'm not PASSIONATE  about running....
And for me, that's really the root of it all.  I feel like books, TV, movies... they all tell me that I need PASSION to really be able to commit to something and see it through.  I want to love it, I want it to "change" me, I want to "change"things on a large scale.  I want to feel as though I've DONE SOMETHING.  And Jeff made me realize that really, at the end of the day, that's setting the bar way too high to reach.  He told me it's okay to not be passionate about it, it's okay if you don't "change the world"... it's really enough to do this running for the enjoyment of it, and to have the bonding experience with my girlfriend through it; by no means will it make me an Olympic runner, and that's ok.  It's okay not to change the world, because every day I have the opportunity to touch someone else's life for the better... and that's really enough.

So for me, that's what my 2012 is  going to be about.... cherishing the small moments in life, cherishing the enjoyment of them, and realize that touching one person's life is just as important as changing the world... because if we all did that, think of how we COULD change the world.

Happy 2012!  (and half-marathon, here I come!!)