Monday, October 8, 2012

Reflections

It's been eighteen months and my house is in boxes again.  This Friday, we are moving from Balikpapan, Indonesia to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.  It being Thanksgiving weekend back in Canada, I thought it is a good time to reflect on our year and a half in Indonesia.

We have really enjoyed our time here.  For me, I think the thing that stands out the most in my mind is the people we have been lucky enough to meet and get to know in the past year.  I have never felt so "at home" and comfortable, with a great network of friends to call on for anything.  I think a lot of this is due to our situation - none of the women have working visas so we are all looking for things to fulfill our time and hearts while we are here.  Because we are all so far away from our "home" countries, everyone really tries to make the extra effort to create "families" here... we always have gatherings for the holidays, and celebrate birthdays together, and create as much of a support network as possible.  It makes being so far away a lot easier on us!   Being able to have help in the house, I have had the freedom and opportunity to do things I might not otherwise have been able to do in these past 18 months... I have really enjoyed spending time in the kitchen, experimenting with new recipes - for fun, not because I had to make a meal.  Entertaining people in our home is something I have really come to enjoy.  I was able to train and complete a half marathon in Singapore, and I was able to dedicate time and be on the Board for the women's association in town and help to fundraise and plan events for them.  I have made some fabulous friends that I think I will always keep in touch with, and have a network for many more family holidays around the globe :)  I have had to navigate languages, cultures, and experiences while getting to know people, and it's really changed the way I think about getting to know someone, and what I value in my friends.  Sometimes it's difficult not to have people understand me right away, sometimes it's frustrating having emotional cultures waving their arms every time they speak, and sometimes it's enlightening and heartwarming to have people spend the time to actually get to know me because it is more difficult, but then actually KNOW me, instead of only superficially.

It's funny, because now that we have completed our first expat assignment, one memory keeps coming back to me.  One of Jeff's clients in Calgary invited us over to his house for dinner one night - him and his wife are closer to our parents age than our age, and I felt a bit awkward about going.  They had been expats for many years, and had finally come back to Canada.  What could we have in common?  What are we going to talk about?  This is a client, it will probably be boring and I didn't really want to go.  Now that I have spent some time overseas, I understand.   I understand why they were so open and welcoming us into their home; I understand why they were so good at making small talk and making me feel at home, and I understand why their home-cooked Thai food was so good!!  If I had to do it all over again, I think we would have been pretty good friends with them!  It was me who didn't understand before, and who was quite centralized in my thoughts and who I associated with, and I realize that I've been missing out a bit.  It's a great feeling to have a welcoming home where I hope that everyone that steps inside leaves feeling a little bit happier, relaxed, and their bellies full :)

While there are still all of things that I complain about and get tired of here - the corruption, the lying and ripping me off, the inability to say "I don't understand, can you please explain", instead just nodding and then doing nothing, the terrible traffic... there are some gems here.
There is Yanto, who has been our driver for the past 18 months.  He has never been late, he always has a smile on his face, and he has ALWAYS been willing to help us out in any way he can.  His job is to drive us from point A to point B, and yet he will run errands, hunt for my crazy ideas (who knew you couldn't get a wooden wagon wheel in Balikpapan?), and is so caring and good with my children.  He will stay longer at my house to sit in the playhouse with them while they dress him up and feed him their fake plastic food, rather than heading home.  He is always willing to talk with me about anything, and explain things to me about the Indonesian culture and their Muslim beliefs.  I think he is a rare gem in this place, and we are so fortunate that we have had him in our lives here.  I will miss him, and wish him and his family all the best in his future.
There is also Yunni, who has been our pembantu (maid) while we have lived here.  She is more professional than a lot of people I know.  She works hard, is trustworthy, and keeps herself busy (a rarity, I think).  She is pleasant and funny, but keeps a line between her work and personal life.  I appreciate everything she does, as she has let me have the time to focus on other things here, because I know the house is taken care of.

I am thankful for this experience and the people we have met here in Balikpapan.  I am excited and a little nervous about our move to Kuala Lumpur, but after these past 18 months, know that it'll be another great opportunity for our family, and look forward to meeting more people and enjoying this life that we are able to live.  I am thankful for my family - that we stick together and are so close because we're the constants in our lives.  That we're happy and healthy and growing and learning together.  Happy Thanksgiving!!!